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Once in a faraway land called the Jumbled States of Aciremia there lived an old buffoon called Ronnie Rump. He had a dream that he was the mighty leader of this not so great land for four years. He promised his faithful followers that he would make Aciremia great again.
Features of Ronnie’s followers
Ronnie had many followers. They loved dressing up in white scary outfits, they didn’t like going to school, they had loud, shouty voices and they enjoyed playing with their guns in the streets. Many police people loved to get out their big guns and play as well. This was called freedom. And all this freedom under Ronnie’s leadership was making Aciremia great again.
Ronnie’s home in downtown Douchington
Ronnie was rich and lived in his own hotel, the iconic Rump Hotel in downtown Douchington. It was more like a really big white house than a hotel. Across the street from his place stood his favourite church. Ronnie loved posing with the holy book outside the church for photos of himself.
Ronnie’s opponents
After four years of total mayhem, also called freedom, Ronnie’s opponents were feeling gloomy. They wanted a calm and peaceful life. To add to this mayhem, citizens everywhere were getting sick with a strange disease. Ronnie cared a lot and advised citizens everywhere to inject themselves with bleach if they caught this dreaded mild flu.
Time to elect a new leader
Meanwhile the gloomy citizens wanted to elect a new leader. Ronnie went along with it because in his perfectness he knew no one could take the leadership from him. But he did not count on the power of his rival for the job, Jon Bide. Jon was a kind, grandfatherly type with sapphire blue eyes, gleaming teeth and a lovely smile. He dressed well and never smeared orange make-up on a single collar.
The outdoor rallies
The pair organised a heap of rallies to facilitate spruiking themselves to the public. Ronnie had lots of outdoor rallies so he could squash in millions of his followers sardine style. This also maximised the spreading of the strange disease and intensified the volume of the chanting ‘we love you’. Ronnie showed his appreciation and displayed his great sense of rhythm by treating the crowds to his dance moves.
The drive-in car rallies
On the other hand, Jon showed empathy and didn’t want to spread the disease. He came up with the idea of the drive-in car rally. Jon’s soothing words were displayed on a big screen so people didn’t have to get out of their cars to listen. Horns started honking every time Jon said something really good.
The Jumbled States of Aciremia announce a new leader
Shortly after the vote counts started, it became clear that more and more citizens wanted a calm, peaceful Aciremia. Ronnie declared vote counting was illegal and demanded it be stopped. But it was too late. Jon Bide was announced the new leader of the Jumbled States of Aciremia. Ronnie was so confused. He tried to calm himself by indulging in his bad habit of writing embarrassing Tweets. After he lost the election, he tweeted Ronnie@therealRonnieRump I WON THIS ELECTION BY A LOT!
