One of my favourite podcasts is the Blindboy Podcast. The episode titled ‘Crying and Shame and Underpants’, 23rd November, 2022 brought back painful memories that I had buried decades ago. When Blindboy shared the story of his father dying from cancer and the realities of watching someone succumb to that sinister disease, it reminded me of my own father’s journey towards the end of his life on earth.
Waldenström’s disease
My father died at the age of 60 from Waldenström’s disease, a rare type of lymphoma. I realised years later that lymphoma (and other cancers) seem to appear regularly in my family. In fact, at the last family funeral, my brother, John, looked eerily at each of his siblings one by one and said, ‘I wonder who’s next’.
Bad farming practices
There was a lot of medical interest in Dad’s case, especially because Waldenström’s disease hadn’t been diagnosed previously in Tasmania. John had a theory as to why this was happening. Although, he’s not a medical person, he blames it on bad farming practices such as spraying dangerous herbicides and animal insecticides without protection. It seems feasible, given the farming history of our family. But not many people knew about the dangers of these chemicals last century.
The treatment was killing him
Dad developed this insidious disease in his early fifties and suffered for years before he finally died. He had become an experimental guinea pig, subjected to various treatments and no-end of trials. He said at one time that the treatment was killing him. We could all see that.
No quality of life
His quality of life diminished the day he began his first round of treatment. He was placed on a machine called a cell separator three days a week. During these sessions, tubes were inserted in both his arms – good blood products entered through one arm and bad stuff out the other. He sat for hours In the oncology day unit at the hospital, enduring the gruelling process while Mum never left his side.
The irony of it all
The day following the treatment, Dad always felt lousy. He began to feel slightly better on the morning of his next day of treatment. That was the irony of it all. On top of that, he underwent chemotherapy, which made him vomit incessantly. When he wasn’t vomiting, he was dry retching and feeling nauseous all the time.
No hair, no toenails, no life
His hair fell out, and if he stubbed a toe, the offended toenail would fall off. One night, he got up to go to the toilet and stubbed his big toe on the kitchen step while returning to bed. When Mum got up later, she noticed a trail of blood from the toilet to the bedroom, and realised Dad had ripped off his big toenail. He hadn’t even felt it because he had lost sensation in his toes, making it increasingly difficult for him to walk.
Footnote:
This is Part One of this story. Part Two will delve into hot days, proteas, and the extraordinary lengths you go to for someone who is dying. You are driven by the realisation that there will not be another chance. In these moments, you truly become selfless.
Thankyou to Unsplash and Team for the protea photo
2 Responses
I think I understand your feelings about your father’s death. Had he not been exposed to these chemicals he would have lived a healthier and longer life.
My wife, whose name was Barbara, was a gardener with the Hobart City Council for over 10 years in her late teens and 20s, and was required to regularly use Roundup spray (Glyphosate) in her daily work, for weed control etc. She died from brain cancer at 49 years of age, after 19 years of debilitating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Neuralgia which rendered her bedridden most of the time, and almost destroyed our family. At the time of her work in the 70s and 80s, all the gardeners were told that the use of Glyphosate was completely harmless so no protective equipment was ever provided . I think the manufacturers of these horticultural pesticides and weed killers have a lot to answer for. But they probably never will as they have the financial resources to hire a high level of legal support to ensure they remain in the clear. It’s a David and Goliath fight unfortunately.
Such a sad story Steve and I guess we will never know the truth behind it all.